PostApocalyptic Conversations
by Eunoia
Summary: After destroying Sunnydale, the Scoobs have a much-needed discussion.


Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, yada, yada, yada. Joss and Co. over at ME own them all, lucky bastards.  
  
A/N: I wrote this soon after Chosen aired, which is why the timeline in terms of season five Angel events doesn't make any sense. Anyway, I just needed to get everything I wanted the Scoobies to say to each other out of my system. I didn't spend a lot of time on it, so the writing is a little rushed, just to warn you. I'm pretty happy with the events of the story, though.  
  
"Prepare to die, evildoer."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Andrew, nobody dies in Crazy Eights."  
  
"Well, what kind of game is it if nobody dies?"  
  
"Seriously Andrew, I think we've all seen enough death to last a lifetime," came Xander's voice from the corner.  
  
They all swiveled to face the voice they had barely heard for the last few weeks. Immediately they all turned again to pretend it wasn't a big deal, but nobody knew what to say, not even Willow, who used to never lack responses to Xander's statements. This was the girl who questioned the validity of his phrasing when he said "stick out like a sore thumb." Well, things were different now.  
  
"I think I'm going to bed now," he said, rising from his chair.  
  
"But it's so early," said Dawn.  
  
"No, Xander's right, I'm pretty beat," said Buffy.  
  
"So you forfeit?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Alright! Crazy eights champion of Sunn—of Motel 6."  
  
Dawn, Andrew, and the few slayers who hadn't gone back to their families decided they were going to stay up and watch TV, but the original Scoobies were all too tired. Giles remembered a time when sleep was not an option for the trio. Now they were as weary as him. As much as their hyperactivity and constant desire for entertainment had once irritated him, he missed it now.  
  
Just as Buffy, Willow, and Xander were heading back to their own rooms, the phone rang. Giles picked it up.  
  
"Yes, it's me. Oh, well, how did you reach me? Hmm, I see. Oh." The look that passed over Giles' face was enough to stop the three sleep- seekers. "I—I'm deeply sorry. Yes, of course I'll tell them. I'm sure they'll want to be there."  
  
"Giles? What is it?" asked Willow.  
  
"I'm afraid it's Cordelia. She's, well, she passed away."  
  
Buffy and Willow were noticeably upset, shocked even. It was Xander who worried him more. Xander, who barely registered surprise.  
  
"Cordy, huh?" was all he said, before he left the room.  
  
"So, um, is there going to be a funeral or what?" asked Dawn.  
  
Buffy felt like reprimanding her for being so blunt, but then realized it really didn't matter.  
  
"Yes, in two days, in Los Angeles. I'm assuming you'll want to go."  
  
"Of course," answered Willow.  
  
"Well, we should all get some rest then. We can head out tomorrow. Rona, Vi, Tanya, Kennedy, Andrew, and Robin can stay here."  
  
"Wait a second, I'm coming with Willow. She needs my support," Kennedy interjected.  
  
"Kenn, you didn't even know her." Willow's reply came out angrier than she expected. "I'll be okay."  
  
"Fine, whatever. I'll hang out here then," she said, obviously hurt.  
  
"Um, do you want me to come?" came the voice of the forgotten name.  
  
"Oh, yes, Faith, well, would you like to come?" Giles asked, somewhat embarrassedly.  
  
"I think Angel might want me there," was what she wanted to say, but she didn't want to risk Buffy's inquisition, so all she said was "Yeah, Cordy was cool. If you don't mind."  
  
"Of course not." Faith was surprised to see the reply came from Buffy. "Anyway, I'm going to bed."  
  
Willow joined her, wanting to say something, anything, but coming up with nothing except "Goodnight." Just as she was about to turn into the room she shared with Kennedy, she changed her mind and knocked on the adjacent door.  
  
There was what seemed to be an extended period of silence before Xander invited her in. He was lying in bed, fully clothed, with the TV on, something he had been doing an awful lot in the weeks since they set up camp in this motel.  
  
"I just wanted to, um, I don't know." Before she knew what she was doing, she climbed into bed with him.  
  
"Will, last I checked neither of us were in formalwear," he half-smiled, an almost alien sight these days.  
  
"That's not what I'm here for, you big dope."  
  
"Oh right, gay now, tongue-ring adorned girlfriend, etc." He wanted to ask what she was there for, but after all these years he still couldn't bear to hurt her feelings.  
  
"I guess you're wondering what I am here for."  
  
"Well, yeah, actually."  
  
"I just, I mean it's Cordy. I know she's changed a lot since high school, but that's still how I see her, so full of life, and I just—God, if this is how I feel, I can't imagine how you do."  
  
He almost spit out another automatic "I'm okay," or "I'm fine," but suddenly he just couldn't keep up the effort. Before he knew it he was crying. At first he tried to hold it in, but Willow took his hand and it was 2nd grade all over again, and his hamster was dead, and Willow was telling him it was okay.  
  
After awhile he got himself together a bit, and said "Man, I'm like a bad luck charm. I should advertise in Ledge-Jumper Monthly. 'No need to waste the time buying that gun or climbing those stairs; just have feelings for Xander and you'll be dead in no time. Or at least evil."  
  
Before Willow had a chance to respond, a knock came at the door.  
  
"Who is it?" he called, hoping he visitor couldn't hear the tears in his voice.  
  
"Me, um, Buffy."  
  
"Come on in."  
  
Buffy walked in, surprised to see Willow. There was a time when she would have hopped right in with them, but now she just sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed.  
  
"So, um, who would have thought we'd be going to another funeral so soon after burying Sunnydale, huh?" As soon as she said it she felt stupid. "Anyway, I'll let you two..." she trailed off, as Willow pulled up the bedspread and moved over.  
  
Buffy smiled gratefully, and got in. "Alright, I'm going to be honest you about why I'm here. This whole Cordy thing got me thinking about high school, and, well, us back then. What happened? It seems like all we do nowadays is fight together and occasionally say "remember when?" I just, I don't want Cordelia's death to be the final nail in the coffin of our friendship...and I can't believe I just used another death metaphor."  
  
"Well, you know what they say," joked Willow. "You can take the girl out of Sunnydale, you can take the Sunnydale out of the world, but you can't take the Sunnydale out of the girl."  
  
"I think—Buffy—if you really want to be honest, you need to acknowledge your part in all of this," said Xander, not interested in joking. "For the past few months we've been like your employees, not your friends. You went on a total power trip, and now you want us to just pretend it never happened."  
  
"Xander, don't be so hard on her," interjected Willow.  
  
"And you! We know how much you miss Tara. I know now even more than I did before. And we know you went evil, but that doesn't mean you have to avoid us. Since when don't we ask each other for help, huh?"  
  
There, he had done it, he had hurt their feelings. And it felt kind of good. He didn't know how they were going to react, and for the first time, he didn't really care.  
  
The response he got wasn't at all what he expected.  
  
"You're right," Buffy and Willow said simultaneously.  
  
"I, I, got totally carried away with all the pressure and started thinking I was better than everybody. What I wasn't understanding was that you guys may not have super-strength, but you've got your own power, and I just, well I guess what I'm trying to say is sorry. I'm sorry I was such a grade- A primo bitch. I'm sorry I didn't trust you, and that I ignored you, and I'm sorry I acted like you owed me for saving your lives. Because you don't owe me anything. If anything, I owe you."  
  
"Great, thanks Buffy, now my apology is going to totally suck by comparison...and that's really not the issue here, so I guess I'll just say ditto. Not about the super powers, but about the not trusting, and the ignoring. I guess I just felt like I didn't really have the right to burden you with my problems anymore, after, well after everything."  
  
Both girls watched Xander nervously, trying to gauge his reaction. After a moment he wrapped one arm around each girl and pulled them close to his chest. "Apology accepted," was his only reply, but it was enough to make them relax noticeably.  
  
"So, are we okay, Xand?" Buffy inquired.  
  
"Well, in keeping with this spirit of honesty, I'm going to have to say not yet." Buffy's face fell. "But we will be. So, let's see what's on TV."  
  
"Any Indian movies on?" Willow asked excitedly.  
  
"I don't see any," Xander replied, flipping channels.  
  
"Ooh, stop, Sixteen Candles is on!"  
  
"Uh, I don't think so Buffy. I'm looking for something more of the Amy Yippish variety."  
  
"First of all, I don't think they show those kinds of movies on TV, and second, would you really want to watch them with us?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I tried to convince Cordy to watch one with me once," he recalled, "but she shoved me off the couch so hard I hit my eye on the coffee table and got a black eye."  
  
"Hey, you told us that shiner was from saving an old lady from a vamp!" Willow exclaimed.  
  
"That's practically the same situation! Anyway, she would watch them with me," he said, his expression becoming slightly pained. Can you believe that? Best.Girlfriend.Ever. That was the thing, she loved me, flaws and all."  
  
"We're obviously not talking about Cordy anymore," Buffy joked, but Willow shushed her with a look.  
  
"I treated her like crap, you know," Xander continued. "I was patronizing and self-righteous, and I convinced myself that I was more worthy of her love than she was of mine. God, I was such a child. By the time I realized what an amazing woman she was, she had realized what a screw-up I was."  
  
"Xander, I don't think she'd want you talking that way. God knows Anya and I never got along too well, but even an idiot could see how much you loved each other. Even if you couldn't," Willow said, realizing only as she said it that she believed it. "When two people are happy together you can just tell...and sorry to make this all about me, but I just realized I have to break up with Kennedy ASAP."  
  
"Oh, thank God you figured it out, 'cause I don't think I could have kept it in much longer," blurted out Buffy. "I mean, what were you thinking!?"  
  
"I'm pretty sure I know," said Xander, raising his eyebrows at Willow. "I mean Kennedy does have a certain...how shall I say...incredible hotness to her. Plus, who hasn't lusted after a slayer at some point in their life? Although, Will, if there's any potential for threesomes you might want to hold off on the break-up thing." In response, Willow just snuggled further into his chest. "Wait a second, is there a potential for a threesome right now?" he asked jokingly.  
  
The conversation continued in this vein for a long while. About an hour later, Giles, Dawn, and Andrew were heading back to their rooms, Andrew yammering on about some comic book or other. As the trio passed Xander's door, Giles and Dawn, who had trained themselves long ago to block Andrew out completely, heard Willow's high-pitched giggle, and heard her call for Buffy's help. Then came "Hey, no fair, using slayer strength in a tickle fight!" Giles and Dawn looked at each other and smiled, she noticing a considerable lightening in his formerly fatigued step. 


End file.
